aclaration

i see why you did misunderstand me and told me i contradict myself, in the blog i missed some words, read again, i corrected them, i DONT want a relationship with another person, believe or not in these weeks i have grown up as a person and my personality has become a little bit less childish, i have madured quite a lot, i told you since forever, i will wait for you, even if i had no chance even if you laugh at me like the time in luna or when we talked on msn previous to be blocked by you, i have grown up enough to know trust is the base of ANY human relation, romantic or not, even in bussiness, i learned people can get really hurted by words only i learned i win nothing on lying and there is no point, if you cant be honest with the person you love then you are not worth a shit, unless you change and not for the other person but for yourself as a human being, i learned to love myself because if i dont love myself, how can people around me love me , i learned i need no one i dont need to depend, on anyone, to not to parasite in people and depend on them everytime i have a problem, because everyone have a life by their own, is up to me if i want to want them in my life or not, and i have learned to see the limit of people, i learned keeping shout is not fine because when you explote things can be worse, as personal experience i know anyone can be perfect and i saw your main defects clear now, but i love you the way you are, i see you jump quickly to conclusions without knowing the whole story, i see you over react, i know you have your emo periods i know you are inestable, per your own friends mouth i know you are kind a few things i rather not have heard, dont blame me thats what i have been told, but yiu know i am not perfect and i dont care, i have not seen by myself what they told me so i technically downt believe it, i know you would never be with two girls at the same time even if i write the oposite in my blog, i know there is a reason why you showed me the song beautiful world, if you know me you should as well see the lines hidden between words, regarding my dates, as i told you before, not interested in anyone but you, i just have new friends at work, is up to you to believe me or not, i just need to distract myself, i am disgusted with mankind for what fabio did to me, i want you, thats why i wil have my tattoo done thats why i made sure since the first day i steped in here im not here with doing friends of #ANY kind, some people dont understand thats why i kill their illusions hanging with them i ratehr do that than let them believe i am interested. i dont want to have friends with double intentions i want my friends to consider me as only that i dont want or need ANY kind of misunderstanding or romantic relationship so i rather tell them in the first hangout not interested, i dont want to break any heart as well ,i talk to people directly now, thats why some people believe i have changed and became cold.i learned promises are made to be kept and words can be a double edged weapon, i learned world is not going to be kind with me because im kind with them, i learned i have to defend myself no one can be for me always, i learned there are some people out there that only want to bring me down, i learned to take care of myself if i want to take care of someone else i learned as long as i am alive, never give up on anything if i really want it to become real.i learned there is no fairy tale because there is no happily ever after this is the real world and is up to me how i want to live my life and i have to work my ass off if i want a happy ending is not going to magically pop out of anywhere, i learned i have 1000000000 defects i still need to correct but idf there is a person who would love me for who i am then that person is worth loving, you love me at least you did even when i started to show myself as the little defenseless emo kid i used to be, thats why i love you and with as many defects you may have i still love you, is up to you, and i still dont know how to handle this but i told you even if there is a wall i would fight everyday to find a breakable point just to reach you, if after that you just push me back i lost nothing trying, i learned there are dreams that are made to be chased i learned true happiness is not the big prize at the end of the road, but all the small dialy simple things that happen in the life i learned i cant go back in time and even if i miss the past all i can do is write my own future i learned crying and being the victim solved nothing i have to stand and move my ass, work hard for what i want because no one is gonna give me anything on silver tray and i wont give up on you even if you are or are not interested in me anymore. As long as i am around i will try hard i wll try everyday in every chance i have to be with you, i know you, all that time i did learned to catch your small indirects, i took my time to get to know you, maybe i still miss some stuffs but i will learn them, because i care, because i love you, i learned to forget i learned to forgive i dont know if i still have a chance but as long as i have the doubt is always worth trying as hard as i can.... all i can do is try over and over again, the rest is up to you i learned from mi errors and i had my good painful lesson